Dark Prince

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Strong language has been removed from this version to comply with Durham University's web guidelines. Nevertheless, do not read this if you are likely to be offended. You do so at your own risk.

A long long time ago, I can still remember
How that mage he used to make me cry.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make that scare-crow dance
And maybe they'd be fearful for a while.
But the curse of June it made me shiver,
With every goblin I'd "deliver."
Bad news from the party - I'd never felt this hearty.
I can't remember if I cried when I heard about how Bob got fried,
But something touched me deep inside
The day that Whitey died

I started singing: bye bye Dark Prince of the lie,
Half the Goblin tried to nobble 'im but now it's good-bye.
Cos Golgul killed him and we'll never no why
We'll sing "Oh that was the day that Bob died."
Oh that was the day that Bob died.

Did you write the book of spells?
And are you s*** scared of Bob as well?
Cos common sense it tells you so.
Do you believe in Orcs and Trolls?
Can Golgul steal your mortal soul?
And is it true that whitey died real slow?
Well I know that you're afraid of him
Cos he said he'd tear you limb from limb.
He cast off a few spells - now he's rotting in hell.
I was a lonelymage - a bronking buck
With a silly cloak who didn't give a f***.
But I knew I was out of luck
The day that whitey died

I started singing ...

Now fow five years I have known Bob well,
'Til on that day he went to hell.
But that's not how it used to be
When whitey fought for the Bish' himself
With a spell from off the Margrave's shelf
And 10 crowns, well it came from you and me.
And when Rose struck the Demon down
Bob he ran off with Dunkel's crown.
Court had to be adjourned - cos Rose never returned.
And while Nataniel read a book on death
The monsters practised in the depths
Did anyone catch his last breath
The day that Whitey died?

He was singing ...

They marched like cattle to another battle
The orcs laid seige to Skipton Castle.
The wards rose high but fell down fast ...
The party stood there on the grass
While Zephyr tried a lightning blast
But all too soon Bob's time was past.
The castle walls were sweet perfume,
Twelve feet thick round every room.
They all set out to fight - but they were never in the right
Koraki tried to take the field,
The castle guard refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day that Whitey died?

We started singing ...

In there we were all in one place -
Golgul haters of every race
With no time left to start again.
But Stab was nimble, Topsy quick,
Zephyr blue and Rose - just thick,
And fire it was Amroth's only friend.
Raven watched them all from the dark.
Iggy's corpse got spread around the park.
No undead of Nathaniel's could break thru Golgul's spell.
And the blood flowed on all thru the night
In Golgul's sacrificial rite.
I saw demons laughing with delight
The day that Whitey died.

They were singing ...

I met a bard who tells of jest,
So I asked her of their noble quest.
But she just laughed and turned away.
I went down to the Goblin Inn,
Where years ago Bob did begin.
But the barman said that Bob had had his day.
And in the streets Orc armies fled.
The party cried for Bob was dead.
But not a word was spoken - his backbones all were broken.
And the two men I admire the most
Stab and Alacro (Bob's a ghost)
They sent him off to Lloth's dark host
The day that Whitey died.

She was singing bye bye Dark Prince of the lie,
Half the Goblin tried to nobble 'im but now it's good-bye.
Cos Golgul killed him and we'll never no why
We'll sing "Oh that was the day that Bob died."
Oh that was the day that Bob died.

She was singing bye bye Dark Prince of the lie,
Half the Goblin tried to nobble 'im but now it's good-bye.
Cos Golgul killed him and we'll never no why
We'll sing "Oh that was the day that Bob died."

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