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One of the biggest and friendliest clubs at Durham University.


Local League 31/1/16

By Liam Price on Wednesday 3rd February 2016

Last Sunday we ventured yet again to the furthest place away ever (York) for a polo competition. I now this as local league, but I don’t really know what that means. I’m such a good info sec. On the trip over I found out Alex and I share a taste in music, which is always fun to find out (does that fact make up for not knowing what we competed in?). It was also ducking freezing waiting outside, so cold in fact that the temperature sensors on the cars read ‘as balls’. We played in the very first game, and in the warm up I didn’t throw a ball at the pool staff, which is always good. I know I don’t need to tell you all the scores as you will all have been avidly following the updates on twitter (@durhamunicanoe), but I will anyway as I should be doing a summative, and the longer this takes, the longer I can put it off for. The first game was a fairly easy 4-1 win, with some solid team play despite not having played together before. Their goal was a late ish consolation goal that was a bit lucky, an ambitious long range shot from memory. Five of us thought we had scored, so the only conclusion that can be drawn is that saboteurs attempted to derail our march to victory by omitting a goal.

Otter wasteman (Barker, 2016)
For those not au fait with the local Yorkshire polo clubs, this is a reference to Yorkshire Otters polo team.

The second game was somewhat closer, only a 2-0 victory. The standard of opposition was greater though, so not an unreasonable result. Drama came when during a chase for a ball Jean got hit in the chin by a boat. The exchange after went something like this:
Opposition player: Are you ok?
Jean: *cracks jaw*
Jean: Yeah
Opposition player: *Paddles away looking slightly afraid*

Further drama occurred when Alex decided to show off and show the entire pool just how good his roll was. He decided one roll wasn’t enough and went straight back over, his mighty roll was just too powerful again and he went all 360o for a second time, only to swim this time.

An easy 5-0 win followed in the next game, and I think it was in this game that Jasz found her scoring touch. Alex was binned miles off the ball and rolled up faster than a really fast thing, I guess out of sheer anger. I nearly missed an open goal, hitting the bottom bar, but luckily the rebound went in to save my blushes. It was after this game Alex pointed out he hadn’t lost a sprint yet and instantly regretted it.

As hubris dictates, Alex lost the next sprint, but the other guy was really quick, in fairness. The last match was the most enjoyable of the lot, with a 4-1 win really making it all the better. Cramp struck Alex underwater, forcing a swim. Someone tried to bin Dan, resulting in him moving slightly to the side.

Everyone on the team got on the scoresheet, Parrisa bagging a few, Jasz with a few, Dan got a few when he had literally no other options but to shoot. The top scorer is up for debate a bit, but Alex and Jean got a similar number. Katherine did a top job in goal, only conceding 2 in 4 games. We didn’t have the almost obligatory curry, but I had the cheesiest chessey chips I ever had the privilege to behold. When you thought no more drama could occur, Jasz stopped to try and help a dog on the way home.

Team: Alex, (OMG its) Dan Robson, Jasz, Jean, Katherine, Liam, Parrisa.

BUCS River Race - rescheduled

By Harry Ward on Tuesday 2nd February 2016

BUCS Wild Water Race has been rescheduled for Saturday 9th April - see the link for further information. http://www.bucs.org.uk/page.asp?section=14726&sectionTitle=Wild%20Water%20Racing%20Championships

By Durham Uni Canoeing on Tuesday 2nd February 2016

BUCS WWR has been officially rescheduled for Saturday 9th April, see the link for further details. https://t.co/YN5RPGOlKa

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Saturday 30th January 2016

Eased to 4-0 victory in the third game, comparatively little drama in this game #thepoolisturningpalatinate

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Saturday 30th January 2016

Action packed second game, deserved-ish 2-0 win. Alex rolls for a full 720 degrees. Jean takes a boat to the face like a champ

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Saturday 30th January 2016

Win in first match, 5-1 with 5 goalscorers #bleedpalatinate #dontbleedinthewater

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Happy New Year!

By Harry Ward on Thursday 21st January 2016

Happy New Year & welcome back to Durham, all! Hopefully this term will be another great one for the club. If you're new to the club and are keen to get involved, please get in touch - we'd love to help you get on the water!

BUCS River Race - cancelled

By Harry Ward on Thursday 19th November 2015

It is with huge sadness that I have to report that BUCS River Race this weekend is cancelled. It is enormously frustrating to all those who have put in hours of work in terms of both training and organisation for the event. However, we must all appreciate the cancellation is due to reasons outside of the control of our Friends group, who organize the event. I am currently, along with the exec, working on a contingency plan and will keep you all updated via email and Facebook as and when I have more news. If nothing materializes we will run a social on Saturday night and at the very least a river trip over the weekend.

Tyne Tour 2015

By Liam Price on Monday 16th November 2015

This update of the shenanigans of DUCC has taken slightly longer to write than the last few as Alex has rumbled the generic formula I used for the last few, so much like when you don’t have the write coinage at the checkout, it’s time for some change. So the club hasn’t been to Tyne Tour for a few years, so I wasn’t sure entirely what to expect. My thoughts inevitably drifted to whether it would be similar to the Naked National Student Rodeo. I was reliably informed that it was a good laugh by people who have a better idea of what “fun” is and “how to have a good time” than I do. A relatively large number of those newcomers to the club were also keen, so it was with hope in our hearts and a spring in our step, we mentally prepared ourselves for the second weekend away of the term. As we had the pudding social on Thursday, Harry agreed to put some of my kit in his car, so I didn’t have to lug it all the way down to the boathouse (Bear this in mind, we’ll circle back to why this is relevant later). Due to the inconvenience of lectures getting in the way of leaving to go on kayaking trips (an issue, which due to priorities, Steve has never seemed to have), I didn’t leave until 6.30 ish. This means I can only assume less fun was had than in the other cars, because I would wager they didn’t have nearly as many Hosiers tracks on the speakers. In case anyone needs a DJ for anything, I got a load of compliments about my song selection in the car, such as: “I can’t believe you’re playing these songs”, “I liked this when I was 12” or “I’ve never heard such an unusual group of songs played together”. Both late cars stopped on the way for some food, and despite Harry’s most cogent arguments (I must admit I was nearly swayed by “but it’s right there”) we did not have a curry. The food was good, but much like when you go to a cheap casino to play poker, the chips were slightly disappointing.

Upon arriving at Hexham, we collectively demonstrated a masterclass in tent erecting. A fair bit of envy was going on when the pop up tents were whipped out (almost literally), but this would not be the case for long (oh the suspense must be killing you right now). I’m not sure if any tents were put up correctly, but I know that many weren’t. It was around now when unloading kit from cars that I noticed my roll mats were absent, you remember, from before in Harry’s car. Fortunately Steve had a spare, but had he not, Harry might have found his airbed deflating with a large degree of regularity. We then headed into town to catch up with everyone else. The Wetherspoon’s was packed with kayakers and it rapidly became apparent that kayakers are weird, sleeveless hoodie guy doing a solid job of showing this. Everyone had one or two drinks, maybe even 3 that evening, before heading out into the wild Hexham nightlife. The first stop was Phoenix, which was a strange place. It looked like a house on the outside, but on the inside, if you squinted it could be mistaken for a club/bar thing. Some pool of a shocking standard was played, which isn’t me being a dick, more self reflection. The music was very cheesy, and sadly no house in the playlist (get it? Because it looked like a house…..). The minimal number of people meant we then sallied forth onto the other club in Hexham, called Studio. This was smaller and worse than the last one. I also have a recollection of it being really bright in there, though that may not be true. Given it was rubbish we went back to the campsite via Tesco’s, unfortunately they had stopped serving ‘water’ by then, so we returned empty handed and saddened by not being able to remain ‘hydrated’. We talked to some people who seemed pleasant enough until I went to bed and they decided to perform the classic Shakespeare play: “The loudest things ever”. Harry learned the error of drinking 2L of water just before going to bed.

The next morning was wet, and muddy and also wet. Rain shouldn’t be an issue when one is about to get on a river to go paddling, but it is. Steve and Alex’s tent was not entirely waterproof, which decreased the envy that was felt before. Steve’s good luck did not end there, he realised he had forgotten his helmet. We had spare club ones, so it wasn’t the end of the world, but, much like toadstools, he did look a bit like a mushroom. The river (The river Tyne for those of you that haven’t read the title) was good fun, though it did have a lot of flat in, which got a bit dull. I did enjoy Ant attempting to brace using Danni’s paddles, which resulted in the blade slicing straight into the water. The rapidy bits (technical term) were paddled well, with minimal swimming all around. Warden Gorge was the culmination of the river, a bouncy wave train thing, with photographers at the bottom, which could capture a horrendous pose (me), you having the best time ever swimming (Alex) or gurning hard on the last wave (everyone). A long paddle at the end followed to the get out. A solid bit of paddling by me meant I grounded myself on the one bit of shallow on a shallow and flat 30m wide section. The rain stopped, I then of coursed jinxed it by thinking about how nice it would be to get off in the rain. We took a group picture of everyone, except Ant and Danni, who were lagging a suspiciously long way behind. A fun sequence of events followed that culminated in me doing the splits between two boats, Harry hitting me in the face with his paddle and me swimming around in what started as not too cold water.

Some people went to get changed, some kit was bought, including Harry buying what turned out to be left handed paddles. I started to get changed outside, complained about the rain, at which someone pointed out I had a dry tent to use. We then headed off to the pub, for mostly water, some beer and a few tea’s (not in the same glass you understand, that would be horrible). It was here that we had our first game of ‘where will Max fall asleep next’. We dried off there, had some fun trying to charge phones and saw a sign for ‘Stevie’s karaoke’. We then had a really rather good Chinese. Shout out to the those of the friends group that joined us. In good canoe club tradition I ate in healthy moderation (assuming healthy moderation means for like 3 people). It was here we had our next round, of ‘ where will Max fall asleep next’.

Fireworks were the next port of call, which were pretty good, though the show was stolen a bit by the guy lighting them pegging it away from the last box like his life depended on it. Now I know carrot cake is a controversial topic and can divide opinion, but I can hold my tongue no longer. I like carrot cake. There I said it. I only hope you can be accepting of this. I had some after the fireworks, and it was like a party in my mouth where everyone was invited. We then got to witness the masterful showman that is Stevie. Is a man, is he just a myth, is he even real? I doubt we will ever know the answer to these questions. All we know are his white shoes, flamboyant red shirt and chains made his attire. He strolled onto the stage (bit of floor where karaoke happened) like he owned it and sang a very standard rendition of an Elvis song. Satisfied he had blown the audience’s (mostly us) collective minds, he returned to his seat and resumed his pint. Knowing that nothing could live up to the high standard of song, we left. We then went to Tesco to successfully buy ‘water’. It may be I just wasn’t cool enough to know this as a child, but it became apparent that the place to be if you are 12 is the Tesco car park. We then went and attempted to socialise with other uni’s. I disappeared for a bit to chat to a friend from Newcastle, so I can only assume you all made lifelong friends. The ceilidh was great fun, only improved by 3 for £5 mojitos. I have a feeling that the caller’s leather beret will become next seasons must have item. Only issue was the ceilidh finished a touch too early. Some of us attempted to return to Phoenix, but decided to give up upon learning entry was charged. It seems like I’m throwing a fair bit of shade at Hexham bars, so for all the owners of said establishments that are reading this: I don’t entirely think they’re rubbish.

It wasn’t raining this morning, but everything was still very muddy and wet, which made taking the tents down so much fun. It turned out Ant and Danni needed some aid putting the tent down in the morning, so we helpful took the poles out for them. We then headed off to low force to do a few runs of that before heading home. Some of us stopped off at a tea room on the way there that had a fire and was everything one dreams of when on a weekend away. There were a few other uni’s present, who kindly helped out with safety. I think virtually everyone had a go, and there were a few swims, but it is tricky the first few times you do it! A few went off to the Swale after that, which turned out to be the first of two unsuccessful trips to the Swale in 2 days for Steve. The rest of us got cosy and started our way home. We stopped at a reservoir, which was a magical moment for everyone, and no one gave any attitude about it at all. Food was the next priority, so we stopped for something to eat. There must be a joke somewhere about leaving a wetsuit in the corner while one eats their food, but it eludes me at the minute. And so ended the weekend away, with much successful paddling done, and good times had all around (I hope)! Thanks for reading, and I guess we’ll speak again after river race this weekend.

By Durham Uni Canoeing on Saturday 14th November 2015

Setting up for first tournament of the season #bleedpalatinate #canoepolo https://t.co/tvpbtvGVnR

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By British Canoeing on Friday 6th November 2015

Great to see our readership growing ;) Next edition will be out in just a few weeks! https://t.co/cUgE3knTzx

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Thursday 5th November 2015

Pudding Social #whatcanyouDU https://t.co/ce60ZEQfvJ

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Wednesday 28th October 2015

Come down to the river today from 2-4pm to join our weekly recreational session. Everyone welcome https://t.co/ss3CJbohnc

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Sunday 25th October 2015

Enjoy #freshers trip? sign up for our next event #tynetour2015 https://t.co/iufpIdBFQa

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Friday 23rd October 2015

#freshers 2014 was awesome, looking forward to this year! remember meeting today at 18:00 by the boathouse https://t.co/90AsLCTtmZ

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Thursday 22nd October 2015

Check out the photos from the first river trip on twitter @durhamunicanoe Here is a sneak preview.... https://t.co/3qoMcKsZaU

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Tuesday 20th October 2015

Vital info the club needs to have #topinfosec-ing #steve'sface #obligatorycanoelove https://t.co/Q4OvNw70S8

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Tuesday 20th October 2015

First meet of DUCC swim team #wheresharry #lifemember https://t.co/sdOddJyOUQ

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Tuesday 20th October 2015

First successful white water trip!! #isjasztallerthanant #thebarriertho #canoelove https://t.co/eYww6YHAYv

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Friday 16th October 2015

great turnout to our first social of the year last night! Here's to a great year! #canoelove #bleedpalatinate http://t.co/h6pbVGkGeC

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Saturday 10th October 2015

Thanks to everyone that came along to the taster sessions today, I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did and we... http://t.co/GU0tcnnAKN

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Wednesday 7th October 2015

our newest keen fresher #whatcanyouDU #canoelove #stig #AdrenalineJunkie http://t.co/Y7r26evvQ0

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Tuesday 6th October 2015

Just under 200 people signed up at the freahers fair today #success #canoelove

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Tuesday 6th October 2015

All ready at the Team Durham fair, come say hi!! #TeamDurham #BestTeam #mostlaughs http://t.co/F6qTATk6nC

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By Durham Uni Canoeing on Tuesday 6th October 2015

Come along and see us at the Team Durham fair, try an ergo, have some haribo #teamdurham #freeharibo http://t.co/363nm3vIjk

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